Lead me on, Help me Stand.
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn.
Through the storm, through the night,
Lead me on, hold me tight.
Take my Hand, precious Lord, Lead me Home."
Have you heard the hymn above before? It is one my my absolute favorites, one that as I sing, the tears form in my eyes, because it is so true.
There are many parts of everyone's lives we worry about, sometimes too much. I will be honest, I am one of those people who just worry...I care about everyone, everything and there hardly is a day I don't shed a tear or two over something, be it good or bad. Tonight has been a night where the concerns of Gracie's Gowns have really taken a toll...and it has only be compounded by concerns for my family, marriage, spiritual health, dreams, my son's upcoming surgery and the holidays.
As I went to read tonight, the chapter is on just that one thing...worry. Worry is like a plague, a wicked curse, an epidemic. Once again, just watch the news and suddenly you're tangled in emotions of the world around us. I don't watch the news anymore (Seriously and honestly I don't), why not? Because I don't need the media inflicting more fear and concern upon my already tortured soul.
In the Bible, we are told to "fear not" 350 times!! So why do we still worry? Remember the distractions? That is why...if we worry we cannot work towards God's glory. We worry because what WE want isn't happening, our goals aren't being accomplished. When we worry, we can't see what God is doing, what we should be prayerful and thankful for. If you are filled with worry, you have no room for faith (Yes, this was a point in which I cried reading).
I can't trust my God to get me through the storm, if I worry about the wind, the rain and everything else. I have to trust His plan for my life and for Gracie's Gowns. Jesus warned each of us saying "In this world you WILL have trouble," not might, but WILL. There are struggles...but He hasn't left us alone. Should we have concerns? Yes, but they have to be legitimate threats that involve one thing...you know the problem, there is a solution and then we look to God for an answer. Worries spiral out of control until you are so shaken with fear, you forget what originally was the problem.
Today (and the past couple of weeks), I have been going back and forth with UVA Health System, in multiple departments and have spoke with several different people I can barely keep them all straight, on how we can donate our hospital gowns IN PERSON to the children admitted to the floor. First I got an absolute, no way, not going to happen...and then I got a glimpse of hope and reassurance this would be something they'd want to do, only a few hours later to essentially be given the initial response. I know their concerns, I've stated my mission...and now we wait. I do not know the process at other hospitals, and if this is the same issue throughout, we may have to reconsider doing hospital donations all together, but we shall see.
In the meantime, instead of worrying, because that is already taking a toll on me mentally and physically, I've decided to pray about the matter and turn it over to God. Here is what we are praying for, and what you can help us pray for.
1. UVA's acceptance of the gowns, and our in person donation to the floor to meet and surprise the children admitted at the time of visit.
2. An alternative donation site with UVA that services the pediatric hematology/oncology patients.
3. God's direction on the donations to the hospitals themselves
4. If UVA holds fast to their stance, may God open the door to another hospital that will accept.
5. God's direction on the ministry of Gracie's Gowns and our ultimate purpose at this time.
These are what I am praying for, depending on the response I receive tomorrow, I have a few alternative sources to try and reach out too, but once again, it is where God leads me. So many months of planning, preparing, time, money and labor and love have been poured into this event...I don't want to lose it all, but I want to be the servant of this ministry the way God wants it to be.
So over the next several days, please keep us in your prayers for God's guidance in this event.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 23-24