And then comes the bitterness, resentment, anger, self-hate, doubt, jealousy, and well just about every negative emotion one can feel. It was tearing me apart. My Nessa, the little girl that only lived and breathed inside me. The little girl I didn't know existed until she died. The child that made me a mother for the very first time. I wish I could say she was beautiful, that I remember every bit of her that night...but I can't. I was alone, scared, frustrated, destroyed, and wanted to run away from it all...and I did for over a decade, because I never believed life would bring me back to her father (who is now my husband), and would it even matter to him...when it was such a part of the distant past. Tonight, on this Day of Hope - I share my hopes for you, our sweet friends and family navigating the waters of grief.
- I hope you know that you are not alone.
- I hope you know that it is not your fault - bad things happen to everyone, death does not discriminate, it does not show mercy...stop wondering the what ifs, and look for the what nows.
- I hope you find meaning out of this tragedy...not today, probably not even tomorrow, or a year from now, but when the time is right.
- I hope you hold onto the happiest of memories by sharing them with others.
- There will be days where you won't want to get out of bed - I hope someone makes a surprise visit or calls to check on you.
- When eating is the farthest thing from your mind - I hope someone brings you a meal.
- As the to-do list grows and your motivation dwindles - I hope you find the will to keep moving forward.
- The days you are emotionally overwhelmed - I hope you have created a space just for you to feel those emotions in their fullness.