October (particularly the 15th), is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month as well. This was established in 1988 by President Ronald Reagan (which I love...and his wife too!). The former president was quoted to say this:
"When a child loses a parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS and other causes."
How well said is that?? It is even more important when you look at the statistics and see that over 15% of pregnancies over the past several years ended in either miscarriages or stillbirths. My husband and I have lost two babies due to miscarriage, both early in pregnancy, but far enough along, they had a heartbeat, a personality, a soul...a purpose that was better served in Heaven than here on Earth.
Our first miscarriage was in 2007...new year's eve to be exact. And it was a miscarriage that we didn't know we were pregnant until we miscarried. Our oldest was only 5 months old, that last thing we were expecting was another baby. They determined based off hormone levels we were roughly 9wks. We saw Aubrey's heartbeat at 6wks...we heard her's at 10wks using the doppler...this was crushing for us. We named our baby Serenity Grace (now of course we did not know the gender, but it was a fitting name).
Several years went by, two more complicated pregnancies, but two healthy babies became a part of our family and then last fall, the night of our 5th wedding anniversary, I told my husband we were pregnant again!! We were shocked, I had my tubes tied after my c-section with Madeline, but we were happy! It was truly the hand of God at work...and then about 5wks later, we loss our precious miracle baby. Once again roughly a 9-10wk gestation. We were shattered, especially me. How could I be give something so special...just to have it taken almost immediately away?! We named this baby John Ezekiel, and once again we didn't know the baby's gender, but the name just seemed to fit.
Now with this, I do not want to down play any other awareness cause that is in October, but I know many of those who read this are impacted deeply by a pregnancy loss, or the loss of an infant. Either you are the mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, father, brother, grandfather, uncle, god-parent, best friend of someone with a loss, etc. It is a reminder that while it may have been years ago...the pain is still there. And sometimes, it is just nice to know that you still think about them and remember their loss.
So, on October 15th, light a candle for your angel babies. Even if you have not had a pregnancy loss, or lost an infant, light a candle in honor and remembrance of those who have. I know there are several precious little ones who have gone to dance in Heaven over the past few weeks and months that I have been working on Gracie's Gowns...my candle will be going in their honor and in remembrance of my own angel babies.
Say a prayer for these families, as they continue to cope with the loss of their child over the days, weeks, months and years to come. No matter how far along, or how old...the loss of a child creates a void that can never be filled in our hearts.
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be."
Psalms 139: 16